-7:45am recent wife post squeals with apathetic logic

“Husband is bitching cause he's got no clean clothes to wear and because I'm being really lazy lately and basically didn't do shit over my weekend. Blah. I'm don't begrudge him his bitching, but it doesn't help anything really. Just makes us have a bad time together. I don't really bitch to him about stuff like that. I mostly bitch about stuff like not having enough time or being exhausted, that kind of stuff. I bitch about myself and he bitches about me too, so it all works out.”

My poor feral wife does not understand one thing. People (especially crazy people), like freaking consistency. She use to do fly lady, and the only thing about fly lady that sucked, was that she’d suddenly get OC about elements of our space, but that was fine. The shit was clean, so I couldn’t bitch. You can’t expect peace in your household if you have some critical chore and you stopped doing it. If I stopped taking the trash to the curb, or just didn’t bother with the cats litterbox we’d be up to our ass in roaches and nasty smells.

These are my thoughts for couples who get together and how they can live in peace. Eighty percent of your chores are bullshit, and no big deal. If you don’t want to sweep the floors you don’t have to, take care of it later, no one but asthmatics have ever died from a dust bunny. But the other twenty percent of work can be divided up, and has to be done. Typically not doing this 20% of work is some bullshit, and will irritate your partner/SO/roommate. And likewise, if you have a blog and you haven’t done your chores, cheers to the much needed spa time but shut phuck up about how you aren’t bothered by schlepping around, and how the bitching of your partner won’t improve anything.

It’s likely that one should remember that no matter how much they don’t care about how they live, their partner probably has definitive benchmarks and will get all pissy when you somehow breach them. Bitching about how your partner/SO/roommate will soon begin to bitch as things hit a critical level is the equivalent of being apathetic and foolish. And always saying you’re gonna do something is the beginning to an erosion of faith by your partner.

One can get into a relationship and mistakenly think that because they don’t give a fuck, or if their chore helps their partner/SO/roommate out that if the person doesn’t like it they can suck an egg and do it themselves. Let me likewise take a moment to explain to everyone why this rationale doesn’t work either. After dividing up the chores you do around your house, the proper decorum for asking someone to do take over for you when you’re not doing your chore should be polite and nice. Getting indignant cause the other person might be bothered cause you’re habitually behind schedule is kinda silly, and oh yeah talking about that shit on your blog is sillier, even sillier than not doing the laundry, talking shit on your website about how your partner/SO/roommate is gonna get pissy, is the fact that you don’t even need a time traveling Delorean to avert said pissy. You could just come home and throw anything into the washer, let the sounds of progress wash over the face of said partner/SO/roommate, watch them settle into a tranquil state.

We kinda have this treaty that I don’t talk about the relationship at my site, unless I am singing the praise of marriage, and JLWS. There are a couple of loopholes on that rule though, like if JLWS says something on her site I can retort. And if I feel like the good outweighs the bad I’ll talk about something that hasn’t been approved by the PR department. We have a treaty and it keeps the balance. Relationships are this tenuous balance of leveling out the inconsistencies brought by both the people. Living space issues get complicated cause both people accept things differently. if you were to look at one of my big offenses, I am a total bag whore and keep bags everywhere. Backpacks, laptop bags, duffle bags, they live throughout the house. I switch out constantly. I could own a bag closet. Living with someone doesn’t get easier cause you’re married, you still basically have a very complicated relationship which still boils down to Roommate For Life It’s great that something doesn’t bother you, oil the squeak wheel and it won’t make a noise, ignore it and It’ll drive you up the fucking wall. Nuff said.

The big reason why people get new partners/SO/roommates is they get sick of dealing with the shit from their current partner/SO/roommate. When you’re married you can’t do that, best to keep the peace.

I want everyone to go out and deface something today, and if you get defaced I want you to roll with the punches, and make it work for you